Final Report, June 2009

The last two weeks in Romania were great. We had parties in our honor, long nights with friends, and full days of work. Everything was in preparation for our departure. It was a period filled with the sadness of moving on and the excitement of new opportunities. That combination seems to be pretty common at this stage in our lives.

This period was great for the kids. There is a new program at the foundation. There was a ton of confusion at the start, but after about a week, things started to make sense. There is so much organization and structure. We feel that it will be very good for the children. Unfortunately, the long-term effects of the new program will not be seen during our time in Romania. Hopefully, we will keep in touch so we can get updates on how the children are improving.

Wil has constantly been working with Petre and our relationship with him has only grown as time has gone on. The other workers are picking up ways to work with him by watching us. Petre loves his time with us so much and he is so fun to be around. Wil has taught Petre to unzip his coat, wash his hands after using the bathroom, and other things that are valuable for life on his own. When we started working here, he was unable to do these tasks.

Costel has had a maintained his great attitude these past two weeks. On our last day at the center, we laid in the ball pit and threw little plastic balls towards him. He had a little plastic bat and he would hit the balls across the room. He would direct us on where to throw the ball and how hard. He would laugh so hard after every ball that he hit. We had never seen him laugh so hard. It was a perfect ending to our time at the day center.

On our last day of work, we had to go on a wheelchair delivery to a town a few hours away from Bucharest. We discovered during our trip that this was actually a wheelchair donation from Motivation. When we arrived at the town, we went to a hotel to meet with some other individuals who helped to coordinate this donation. Along with this donation, Motivation and some other individuals are going to sponsor a special day in this town for wheelchair users and awareness. There will be a wheelchair basketball demonstration, donations, and just a big celebration and get together. It seemed like a wonderful idea.

After that meeting, we went out and delivered about a dozen wheelchairs. People who spoke Romanian much better than we do explained how to put the wheelchair together while we put the wheelchairs together. Everyone who received the donations was so grateful. It was easy to tell that most of them had not used one before; they just spent most of their time since their accidents on their back or side. After each wheelchair we delivered, our driver and the coordinator of the donation, Philip, who is also in a wheelchair, would ask if the person receiving the wheelchair was happy. Each time our answer was a very truthful, "Yes."

It was an amazing way to end the trip. We have put everything we had into this internship. We have given our physical, mental and emotional all. It was so nice to end the trip on such a high. Those donations to that rural village, where the people receiving the wheelchairs were so in need, is something that we will remember forever. It was the perfect ending. If anyone would have written that ending for a Hollywood movie, it would have been rejected, because nothing works out that way.

We flew out on a Monday morning, so we spent the next two days packing, thinking and saying goodbye. Everyone we met on our journey was so generous to us. It is an experience and a group of people that we will never forget. Our last full day in Romania was spent at a barbecue with some coworkers from the foundation. We ate and laughed until it was evening. It was another wonderful and appropriate ending. Our friends dropped us off at Cornetu and we started packing.

As we packed, not much was said. We folded clothes, put away memories, and thought. It was hard to believe that our 6 months was already over. We couldn't talk about the future. It was too hard to discuss. We, for the first time since we had met, were preparing for paths that lead in different directions. John was going to Denver to be with his fiancee, while Wil was preparing for either work in Nebraska or a return trip to Romania. We barely even said goodnight to each other. It was more of a discussion about how we thought our plane flight would go and how many bags we thought we would lose.

The next day we woke up late. Our alarm was supposed to go off at 4:00 am. We woke up to Marian, the driver, knocking at 5:00 am, which is when we were supposed to leave. We sleepily threw our last few items in our bags and left the house in a blur. Watching the villages, buildings, and landmarks go by for the last time was sobering. As Marian winded his way through the maze that is the Bucharest road system, we saw places where we ate and played. It was more of a journey down memory lane than a ride to the airport. We said goodbye to Marian, caught the flight, and got home just like we were everyday travelers. When we got into Denver and checked through customs, we saw John's family and fiancee for the first time on American soil. It was so hard to believe that we had been gone for six months. We all embraced, loaded our baggage, and went out for dinner.

It was just like a scene in a movie. Everyone was laughing and celebrating. Out of the corner of our eyes, we caught each other, turned our heads, made eye contact, and gave each other a reassuring nod. Most people who see us will never know what we did. They will never understand why we sacrificed what we did for this opportunity. But we know. Those children, those people, and their stories will live with us forever. No matter where we end up or what happens in life, we will be defined by those moments in Romania; those secret memories. The time has passed, and with passing time comes change. This change has forced its way in, like change tends to do. We must now start a new chapter in our lives. The words are already being written.

John and Wil

	Wil and Narghita

October 16, 2008

Hello from Romania,

Wil and I have been here for exactly one month now. Though we haven't been here long, we have already seen and experienced some amazing things. Initially there were some difficulties, however, due to a language and culture difference. Now that we are accustomed to the differences and the language, everything is much better.

We live in a house with the children and several other adults who work for Motivation Romania. Our average day starts at about 8:30 when we get a ride to work from the house we stay in, Cornetu. At the Foundation, we work with young kids from 9:00 to 12:00. We do physical therapy, work on fine motor skills, do behavioral interventions, and play with the children. In the afternoon, we do the same with older children. We are finished working at the Foundation usually around 3:30 or 4:00. On most days we walk to where the older children live, Clinceni, and continue to work and hang out with them. We leave that house around dark and walk to Cornetu house. Some days we work with the drivers to move couches, wheelchairs, and run errands to Bucharest. Other days we go to Special Olympic events and help the athletes in their respective events.

We already have some special relationships with the children here. One of our first breakthroughs was with a child from a foster home named Patrick. When we first started working with Patrick, he could barely pick up small objects and put them away in a basket. Last week, a French worker named Fabiola and John taught him to make 10 stacks of blocks that are 5 blocks high. He knocked them over and put them away in an orderly fashion. He used both hands and worked fairly quickly. It was amazing to watch how much better he had become with his fine motor skills in such a short time.

One of our favorite children is named Narghita. She is has a history of being afraid of men and she typically has outbursts that are difficult to control. One day she wandered into our room and was greatly afraid of something. She couldn't tell us what, she just acted scared.  She kept looking up so we figured out that she was afraid of the light. Wil lifted her up and held her while she poked the light and laughed. Ever since then when Narghita has a problem she runs to us for help and we usually do a fairly good job of calming her down.

We are meeting some amazing people here at Motivation as well. Initially things were difficult because we are so different than typical Romanians and because of the language barrier. Now that we are learning the language and forming relationships, the staff has been nothing short of amazing to us. We went fishing with a man named Fanica who works at the wheelchair factory and lives in Cornetu with us. We didn't catch anything, but it was a fun experience. Our boss, Raluca, took us to visit her home in Constanta last weekend. She showed us the Black Sea! Her family loved having us and her mother asked us to come back this weekend.

We visit many of the workers at all of the houses and everybody seems to enjoy our company. The hospitality here is better than anywhere we have been in the world, and that's a lot of places. We have adjusted well to this new place and everything seems to be going okay. We absolutely love the work and couldn't care for the kids and the people more. When we are working here, it doesn't seem like we are working or serving. It feels like we are helping friends and working to get children that we love a chance at life.

So far this has been an amazing opportunity. We are grateful for the hands on learning that could never be possible in the United States. One of our favorite parts of the day is when we walk back from Clinceni house and talk about the day with each other. We discuss what we did, what was good, and what we would do differently. Every day is an intense learning experience that few places could provide. We are interested to see how we feel after the initial excitement of being here fades. We are also hopeful that as we learn the language better, we will be able to better help these children and this organization. John

	Putting on a coat of varnish at the Camp

November 10, 2008

Greetings from Romania,

This has been an interesting past few weeks.  Many things have changed for us since our last update.  We are slowly becoming adjusted to the culture, language, and way of life here.  Usually it takes a while to become comfortable with new surroundings and a new place to work.  Combine language and culture differences and this often creates a difficult adjustment period.  We have been slowly adjusting to the new way of life and our new fellowship, but lately things seem to be clicking.  We are able to conform to the go-with-the-flow type of work in which we are required and Romania is slowly feeling like home.  Not really "home," but much like how your first college dorm room becomes comfortable to live in for the first time.  It is difficult to explain.  We are used to our surroundings and work style, and we are comfortable with Romania.

The kids are doing well.  We have been working at the center with Petre and Costel on a regular basis.  Costel was able to write his name for the first time just after our last update.  Soon after that he became short tempered and isolated himself from the group most days.  He would not interact with any of the workers and was upset much of the time.  After three weeks of this, he finally snapped out of it.  On Friday he was happy and interacting with us again for the first time in a long time.  We were able to work together on some more fine motor skills, but ended up playing with each other at the end of the day.

Petre seems to always be in a good mood.  He likes riding in cars, so the van ride to the center usually puts him in a good mood.  We work on putting things away and stacking blocks.  Last week we put together a puzzle.  I did most of the work but he liked that we were spending time together and it was good for him to not play with his ball for a while.  Petre usually does a solid hour or two of work but, like most kids, after that he just wants to play. That is how work goes with most of the kids.  They are very good at getting what they want.  They like doing constructive activities, and it is easy to make things fun for them.  Often by the end of the day we are playing the game that they want to play.  This is not a bad thing in our mind.  We are interacting with them in a positive way.

Two weeks ago we went to a camp owned by Motivation Romania near Varatec.  It is a lovely village in northern Romania.  We painted two cabins and filled in a huge electrical hole.  The workers there were impressed with how quickly we worked and we were able to do a little more work than we were supposed to.  We were at the camp for five days and had a BBQ on our last day.  It was a nice break from the center and the landscape is amazing. 

Last week, Wil went to a Special Olympic basketball tournament between Motivation Romania, Moldova, and Turkey.  John stayed back to work with Petre and Costel.  The Motivation Romania team is made up of workers here and friends to the organization.  Many of them are fairly close with us.  Turkey beat Motivation Romania for the championship, but that is beside the point.  The Motivation Romania players got frustrated during one of their games and Wil started giving them defensive advice.  For those of you who do not know Wil, he played a year of college basketball and is a very intelligent player.  By the end of the tournament, our team was playing better and Wil was appointed head coach.  By association, John was appointed assistant coach.  We are planning on having two practices a week so that we can work on fundamentals and playing as a team.  We are excited for the opportunity to coach and to help our friends.  Hopefully we can do well so our friends do not fire us.

It is hard to believe that we are a week away from being one third of the way done.  Time is flying for us.  It took us this long to get accustomed to everything and find a sense of comfort here.  We are happy that things are going well, barring any immediate disasters.  It is weird to think about how quickly the time here has gone.  This experience has already been so beneficial for our education in psychology and in social justice. 

Every day offers new opportunities to learn.  It feels like we rarely work even though we spend easily twelve hours a day working at the center, Clinceni and Cornetu.  To us it does not feel like work.  We are playing with children and helping friends.  Because of the intensity of this experience and because we are psychology graduates, a lot self analysis takes place.  Both of us find it difficult to do anything in life other than help people.  We also have a soft spot in our heart for people with developmental disabilities.  Not very many places offer an opportunity to help people and work so closely with children who have physical and mental disabilities. It can be overwhelming to think about the needs that these children have.  Some days it feels like we do not accomplish much here, but other days we wonder if the world could continue without work like this. We will leave you with that thought… John

Wil, Elena (director of Motivation Romania) and John

December 10, 2008

Well, we are half way through this amazing trip. It is hard to tell where all the time has gone. Now that we are more comfortable than ever with the language and the people we are working with, time will only pass more quickly.

In the last month, we have continued to be coaches for the Motivation Romania wheelchair basketball team. The last event we participated in was the championship game and it was a blast. We really started to click as coaches, both together, and with our team. We assumed that it would be difficult to be taken seriously by our team, the referees, and the teams we play against, as we are only 23 years old. The language barrier, though it grows smaller with each day, also doesn't help. One of us could be screaming out some incorrect commands on how we want the defense, only to make our players feel embarrassed that their coaches don't know how to talk. To us, that would just be kind of funny.

Like the coaching, we are really beginning to find our niche within our day-to-day activities here. We have decided that the best way to help the children when we are at the Center, is simply to try to minimize their typical autistic behaviors. There are many people with whom we work who help the children with their motor skills and learning. As it is their job, and we don't want them to feel slighted; we step back as they continue to work on those things the majority of the time. We sort of stay behind the scenes and try to detour any nervous tendencies or comfort-related habits that the children are developing or have developed.

In our house, the ladies have started to notice a difference in several of the children's behaviors. For example, staff have started to be able to point out and stop Narghita from touching her lips to things like her basketball and the stroller of another child. In turn, she has started to do these things less. Gabi, the boy that dominates most of the pictures we have taken because he is so cute, is getting stronger every day. He was barely able to move his right arm or leg when we arrived. Due to the great physical therapists here and the constant attention from us and the women of the home, Gabi is really starting to get a lot of his movement back. It is extremely impressive as we were almost certain that this would not improve much if at all.

These children are really showing us a lot and teaching us so much. It isn't often in life that one can find so much hope in "the little things." That sounds really cliché, but it could not be more true here. Every time we are feeling like we cannot help a child the way they need to be helped, or that whatever change we are striving for is impossible, the kids shock us. Every day, one of the kids has a small breakthrough and makes us know that what we are doing here is meaningful for everyone involved. A breakthrough for them is one for us, too. It will be hard to look at anything as impossible after this experience.

John and Wil

Wil with Special Olympic Romania athletes

January 2009

Things have been crazy since our last update. Over the last several weeks, we had a week of regular work, Christmas, two weeks of constantly being with the kids at the house and helping here, a visit from John's family, a week of weather so cold and nasty that the children stayed home, a visit from John's girlfriend, a trip for Wil to the mountains with the children in Special Olympics, and a guest appearance from our boss in the United States, Rich Carman from Mosaic.

We do not have updates on the children because we have not had extended one-on-one time with them since before Christmas. The children at Cornetu House are doing well and from what we could gather in short visits, the children at Clinceni House are also doing well. We will learn quickly how the other children are doing once we start regularly going to the Foundation again. I am sure that next update will be filled with news on the children and updates on their improvement.

Christmas was wonderful with the children. We had been working for nearly a month on a Christmas program with them. It was so nice to see the show and know that the hard work and frustration (from both staff and children) paid off. It was a wonderful show topped off by a visit from not one, but two, Santas! The kids were so excited and every one of the thirty-three children received a huge bag of candy and gifts. It was so great to see the joy on their faces. After years of being slightly jaded, being a part of something like that re-creates the Christmas spirit that one has during childhood. It was truly a special moment for the kids and the staff.

John's parents, sister, and aunt came for a visit for five days during the Christmas break. His family got a tour of the Foundation and the house where we live. They also got a firsthand experience of travel on Romanian trains, trams, and maxi-taxi's (sounds like a bad re-make of "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles"). They loved the staff and the center. It was very nice for them to experience and see how we live. They loved the children and said that the short visit has left a lasting impression on them. They, of course, brought several important gifts such as peanut butter, student loan updates, and razors. The food, reminders of reality, and subtle hints from our mothers that we are getting a little scruffy for their liking ,reminded us much of college breaks. It was an all around great trip and we both were thankful for their visit.

During the Christmas break, some of the house staff got a few days off as well. We stayed at the house for six of the ten days in order for the wonderful ladies to get some much needed relaxation. We worked those six days straight and it was a fun time. Nothing too special happened; we just played with the children, helped feed them, and made sure no catastrophes took place. Even though we were at the house with the kids 24 hours a day during this time, it was a nice period of consistency in our often hectic schedule.

The next week (the first full week of January) the children were supposed to go back to the Foundation for their daily dose of physical therapy, pathology, and behavior interventions. The weather had another plan though. It was frigid that entire week. The temperature was around 30-35 degrees Fahrenheit -- but combined with the wind and constant mist in the air, it was very chilly. It felt as cold here as we have experienced in Nebraska. The air had a cold bite that we are not familiar with, so, instead of the kids going to the Foundation, the Foundation came to the kids. The physical therapists and teachers were divided amongst the three houses and we rotated which house we went to for that particular day. It was a week of playing, behavioral intervention, and coffee from the stove.

During our down time, we had to organize and sort some donations that we had received. Our wonderful mothers organized groups of people in their respective cities to put together donation items for the children. Wil's mother got a group together and they donated toys, video games, pajamas, coloring books and underwear. John's mother obtained donations of toothpaste and toothbrushes from a local dentist, and a local business donated house slippers for the children. We had so much stuff in our room that we could barely walk from the entry door to the bathroom without falling over something. (OK, maybe it is that way all the time, but, trust us, it was a lot of stuff.) We got the donations put together in individual bags for each child. They each got slippers, toys, books, underwear, toothbrushes, toothpaste and other fantastic miscellaneous items. We went to all of the houses and delivered the gifts as a type of "Christmas from America" celebration. The children loved it and were very thankful for the presents.

The very next week, our boss from the U.S., Rich Carman, and John's girlfriend, Melissa, came to visit. Melissa was able to visit the Foundation and see the house where we live. It was, once again, really good for Melissa to see and experience what we are going through firsthand. She loved the children and the people. One night, all three of us (Wil, John and Melissa) had dinner with Rich. It was a great time. Rich had positive things to say. It was just great to unload all of our thoughts, emotions and ideas and have him so warmly receive them and give us positive feedback.

Although we don't routinely get thanked or receive words of appreciation (work like this does not often obtain that in general), it goes as assumed that when doing work like this, thanks will not always be issued. We understand that and appreciate it. However, it is nice to hear that you are valued and supported in the work that you do. We are here for many reasons, and admiration or thanks are not a part of it. Sometimes we contemplate why we are here, for what reasons, and if those reasons are justified by us being here. Then, special things happen and we know why. Anything from a conversation, such as the one with Rich, to a child self-correcting a behavior, can help us realize why this kind of work is so important to us and necessary for the world.

After that meeting, John left with Melissa for ten days. He went to Brasov, a mountain city, for six days and came back to Bucharest for the other four. It was a wonderful trip with Melissa. She is one of the people who have been the most supportive of our trip here from the start. He will leave Romania on March 16 and start a life with her. Trips such as this still exist in their future and, hopefully, they can challenge each other in the same ways that they have challenged themselves.

Wil went with the kids in Special Olympics to trek through beautiful mountains with the snow shoeing group. He discovered it is a little difficult to fund a size 48 (that's European for 13½) ski boot in Romania. It was a great time, and Wil met many new people and children. The groups worked to prepare for the Special Olympic Games coming up in Idaho U.S.A. next year. The majority of the children worked harder then we have ever seen anyone work. The groups were divided by the two main winter sports -- skiing, and snow shoeing.

As you can tell, things are not slowing down here at all. The past month has been hectic and fun; however, we are excited to be back at the Foundation and be able to work one-on-one with the children again. We had some refreshing visits and we are now energized to finish this part of the trip strongly. There are some great opportunities and interesting life choices on the horizon. We are both excited to see where life takes us before our time in Romania is over. Once we get re-familiarized with how the children are doing, we will send another update. Until then, good luck and good day.